Tuesday, December 22, 2009

HIRING - Murder Burger

This is a bit of an... alternative approach to a help wanted ad posted on a door at a Murder Burger. The text reads as follows:


Right Oh, Murder Burger is opening up on Ponsonby Road in Ponsonby and we need bunch of people to hang out with, make burgers and talk shit. No previous experience is needed when we teach you everything you need to know and we kind of factor in you buggering something up along the way.
The sorts of people we think will be good for the job are:
Arts, Architecture and Humanities students: No real reason for this, well actually I suppose there is, it's just that if we're going to be working with somebody for hours on end it's quite nice to talk about stuff we're interested in as well.
Students nurses and student teachers. I've gone out with two nurses and two teachers in my short life and they were all awesome. More awesome than me as it turns out which is why i'm not going out with them anymore.
The sorts of people we think won't be good for us:
Political students: Nothing personal, we just don't understand you.
P addicts: Again, nothing personal, it's just that the benefits of you being able to work 7 shifts in a row is pretty much outweighed by the probability that you will one day flip, grab a knife and become Mr Stabby.
So if working with us sounds like something you might quite like to do instead of staying home watching telly then send us an email to Geordie at
Nice one.

-Murder Burger Logo-

No comments: